Advice
by Jaymee Gudgeon
Summary: Hermione gives Ginny some tips on getting Harry's attention, but ends up going off on tangents about her relationship with Ron.


Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling. If I were, I would make you all worship me and bring me candy. And post-its, lots of them; I'm running low.

A/N: I guess this should be set pre-OotP, because it appears that Ginny still has a somewhat-open crush on Harry. But we're not getting into that.

This actually started out as me getting all excited, thinking I had solved the mystery of the universe. But then, as usually happens, I started applying everything to Hermione and Ron and well...here you are. I realize it's a bit OOC for Hermione to have figured out all of this stuff about boys, but you know. She knows things. And she's a bit girly...squeemish, too - gets all giddy when Ron smiles, but you know, I really think she does that inside. Whether or not she'd actually be sharing this with Ginny...gah, what am I, bashing my own fic? Read it!

-

There is something a should tell you now - something that I know is true, no matter what.

Boys are not complicated. They are very easy to understand, actually. Or atleast, _I_ understand them - but that isn't saying much, as I happen to be at the top of my class academically, and I also happen to be best friends with two of them. True, at times I've contemplated if one of them truly is a boy, but he has demonstrated an efficient amount of testosterone since that time, and I am now fully convinced that he is, in fact, male.

Anyway, my point. Boys are not complicated. No, they know exactly what they want. It's us girls that don't want to believe that this is their one true goal, so we attempt to look past these hormones and claim that they have deep inner meaning in their words. But we shouldn't do that, really, as they tend to be excessively stupid, and wouldn't know how to put depth into anything. So everything that they say and do must be taken at face value, because until they just come out and say that they like you, they don't even know it. Even if they do have feelings for you subconsciously, they won't appreciate or even realize that you like them too until they can admit it to themself.

Yes, I said I like him. I've just admitted the one fact that I've been trying to deny for the past two years - I like Ron. But now I've realized that there is no way around it, especially since every time I'm around him my IQ seems to drop a few points, and I find myself saying and doing things that contradict everything that I thought I felt. I honestly didn't mean to tell him to ask me to another ball. Not that I hadn't wanted just that, but I never had any intention of actually _saying_ so. That night I realized the full weight of what I had said, and I pictured him avoiding me at all costs the next day. He had every reason to - I had as good as _told_ him that I wanted him to ask me to a dance, assuming that he liked me, and making a complete fool out of him in of the common room.

Wow, I'm off topic.

Anyway, there is a tricky part. If you show them too many signs that you like them before they have time to realize that they like you, you've blown your chance. They will forever think of you as "that girl that liked me," and will never be even remotely curious about your personality.

No, Ginny, you do not fall under this category. From what you've told me, I doubt he even realized you putting your elbow in the butter dish. This category is for girls that throw themself at the boy in question, shrieking "Hi, my name's Parvati, I love you!"

And besides, I'm sure Harry has completely forgotten that poem by now.

On the other hand, if you wait too long to show them that you like them, they will give up. Unlike girls, apparently, boys are perfectly capable of quitting.

So you have to give them all these hints at the right time: when they admit their feelings to themself. But it is impossible to know exactly when this is. It would be easier to give them hints all the time, but they only realize them at the right time. That much is possible.

Little hints - short eye contact and small smiles - once a day at the most. Make them wonder. Once they realize they like you, they will notice these things more. Think about it. Neville catches your eye every once in a while, right? But can you name any particular moment in the past that he did this? No. Well, what about Harry?

Yes, he smiled at you then.

And then.

Right.

Yes, Ginny, then too.

Ahem. Anyway.

In my case, I'm sure Harry looks and smiles at me a lot. Probably more so than Ron. I can't think of a specific date and time at the moment, but I'm sure he has, as we're best friends. But I can tell you many occasions in which I was lucky enough to receive smiles from your idiot brother, in excruciating detail. Right before he asked me to the Yule Ball, for example.

I came into the portrait hole from dinner, wondering why Ron and Harry hadn't been there. When I asked them about it, you answered, "Because they've both just been turned down by girls they asked to the ball!"

My heart froze. My entire body froze, really, but it was my heart that made me say it.

"All the good-looking ones taken, Ron? Eloise Midgen starting to look quite pretty now, isn't she? Well, I'm sure you'll find someone _somewhere_ who'll have you."

I almost wanted to hit myself for how obvious that had sounded, but then a miraculous thing happened.

He asked me. After that brilliantly intelligent line about my being female, of course, but he asked me none the less. It was at that time when I both wished I had never seen Viktor, and strangely enough, I was also grateful. If I had accepted Ron's invitation, I may have sounded desperate, which I most certainly was not. I was going to the Ball with Viktor, who happened to be a kind, smart gentleman that liked me for who I am.

Oh, who am I kidding, I would have turned down Viktor a hundred times had I known that Ron was going to ask me. Of course he had to wait until I already had a date to get around to doing so. Boys.

I was honestly going to apologize and tell him that I was going with Viktor. Infact, I was about a sentence away from doing so until he accused me of lying.

_Lying!_ Like I couldn't have been going to the Ball with someone else, because I wasn't as pretty, or as feminine as Fleur or Lavender or Parvati. As if I was standing idly by, waiting day and night for him to ask me, and turning down everyone else. Never mind that I had planned on doing just that, but that was before Viktor.

So I snapped. I tend to do that a lot when he insults me, but he also tends to strike just the right nerve and press every one of my buttons. I told him that some people have spotted that I'm a girl, even though it had taken him three years to realize it. I was fully prepared to storm off right then, but then he did it.

He smiled.

My insides turned to butter and I couldn't feel my limbs. The world stopped turning when I looked in his sparkling eyes, and my heart thawed out. For a moment I had forgotten I was furious with him, and wanted to throw my arms around him and say yes. I was grateful they had lost their feeling and I wasn't able to do just that when his reply brought me back to the Gryffindor common room.

"Okay, okay, we know you're a girl. That do? Will you come now?"

Somewhere in the back of my mind, I noticed how desperate he seemed to want me to go with him, but I drowned out the thought with anger. He wasn't able to accept the fact that I was perfectly capable of finding a date all by myself. He thought I needed him.

If only he had known how right he was.

But I wasn't about to tell him. He could go alone for all I cared, because I had a date. We'd see how much he really wanted to go with me when he saw me dancing with his idol. It didn't matter how much more I wished to be dancing with him.

I still haven't decided if I liked his reaction. _Fraternizing with the enemy_, honestly. Completely off, and yet so adorable.

I'll also never forget that day in Potions, the day that Rita Skeeter article came out. He had been so obsessed with my invitation to Bulgaria - dropping and grinding his pestle into the desk, repeatedly asking, "And what did you say?"

At the time I was too embarrassed to even look at him, but by what Harry told me later, he was staring at me profusely. As if he couldn't believe it.

Honestly, first he couldn't believe that I was asked to the Ball by someone other than himself, and then he refuses to believe that Viktor invited me to Bulgaria. Am I that horrible?

Thank you, Ginny, I appreciate it. Do inform your brother some time, will you?

Anyway, where was I?

I was _not_ on about how I love Ron.

Ah, Harry. He is quite a complex one, Ginny. Much more of a challenge. He would seem the sensitive type that wouldn't care a bit about looks, wouldn't he? But he is also male, which is what made him ask Cho to the Ball. He is the type to admit his feelings to himself quite quickly. So all you have to do is give him a few hints. Not too many so that he thinks you are throwing yourself at him. You have _not_ lost your chance, just go out there like a new girl and he will see you as one. But don't ignore him completely, or else he will do the same to you.

No, he won't do that either way.

Don't say things like that, Ginny. You aren't only insulting the boy you like, but also my best friend. If there is anything I know, if you pay attention to him, he will pay attention to you.

It's not pointless, Ginny, it's a challenge.

Oh, yes, my challenge is just as complicated, if not more so.

Well...yes, I did say that boys aren't complicated. And they aren't. It's getting them to like you that is the hard part.

Now, Ginny, let Operation Love commense.

Oh, and Ginny?

Don't mention this conversation to Parvati or Lavender. Ever. They'd be devastated if they knew that I found out how the male brain works before they did.

-

A/N: And it just kind of ends. Sorry. I think there should be some kind of backstory going on whilst this conversation is happening. Like Ron and Harry are down in the common room waiting on Ginny, who had run up there earlier in a fit of rage, and Hermione, who had followed her. Don't ask me. It's all 'bout the fluff. And the aimless rambling, which is more what this story covers. Meh.

Review!


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